HATEFUCK (DIGITAL ZINE)

This listing is for a digital PDF of the zine, available to download upon purchase. To order a hardcopy, go here!

This is a zine about desire and aggression. How repressed love and longing mutates into resentment and contempt. How our inability to tolerate our own unrequited wanting is often the thing that leads us to attempt to sexually and socially destroy the object of our desire—one another.

My perspective is born out of my experience as a survivor of both sexual violence and cancellation. On the identitarian left, its common to flatten men into a role of sexual aggressors without deeply grappling with either what leads someone to exert control through violence or the reality that men become the targets of aggression just as often as anyone else. Similarly, it’s common to promote a utopian view of queer sociality without seeing that repressed desire and subsequent aggression wreak just as much havoc for us Gays as for anyone else. 

There’s a way in which an identitarian worldview functions as a shorthand for identifying social safety and danger—such and such people are dangerous and violent and thus not to be trusted, while such and such are good and compassionate and safe to let your guard down around. But I have been subjected to both straightforward sexual violence from men and circuitous sexual aggression from queer women with equally devastating consequences to my life. Some of the most fucked up shit that’s happened to me came out of the jealousy and cruelty of other gay girls. And some of the deepest healing I’ve experienced came from uncovering the twisted role that love and vulnerability played for the man that sexually assaulted me as a teenager. 

The truth is, no one—regardless of identity category—is above violence and cruelty. And no one is below love.

- excerpt from Introduction

sliding scale pricing:
♡ $22.22 — self-publishing star
invests in my long-term capacity as an independent artist.

♡ $14.00 — zine fiend
covers my time spent writing, designing and tech-wrangling.

♡ $11.11 — PDF pal
covers my time spent designing and tech-wrangling.